One of my personal issues with January and new year’s resolutions is the reoccurring theme of “If I can do it, you can too.” Typically, this statement comes alongside stories of massive weight loss or a huge life change, such as a career shift.
The underlying sentiment comes to me as “Don’t be scared, it’s easy, just do it.”
I HATE that message.
For those who already have a growth mindset and understand the power of daily choices adding up to a larger change, it’s hard for me to grasp such a blanket statement without acknowledging the hard work, weeks or months of physical and mental effort or change.
In fact, I wrote another blog post about people downplaying the hard work of weightloss because I think all of this messaging can be so damaging to expectations.
“If I can do it, you can too.”
What if I try and I can’t do it? What if I’ve already been trying and I’ve failed?
The unknown won’t stop me from trying, but this messaging really sets us up for unrealistic expectations. If 100 people followed your exact “recipe,” would they all get the same result? No.
You can tell someone the exact steps to win a video game, but it still takes work, effort and time to accomplish it. AND, you still might never win.
Yes, these stories are from “average people” (it’s not Taylor Swift telling me that I can do what she’s done), so it seems more achievable. But I’m not you, person who has their life’s goal achieved. I’m happy for you, but I’m not you.
What happens when I’m not able to do the same thing that Ms. Average Person achieved?
For me, it’s thoughts of guilt, shame. I can’t accomplish what they did, and they’re “just like me.” I’m not good enough. What is wrong with me?
The answer is nothing. You are not them. Let them motivate you, but their accomplishment should not be your benchmark.
Remember the popular quote: “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
So as February ends and people are off the New Year’s Resolution bandwagon – do you remember what yours is? – I’m happy those “If I can do it, you can too” stories are on the backburner for 10 more months.
It’s hard for me to put this messaging into perspective, so I’m venting and posting with the hopes that it helps someone else too.
Please remember today and every new year that if it really was easy, then it wouldn’t be something that becomes a new year’s resolution. If it was easy, then it wouldn’t be a newsworthy or influential story. Be kind to yourself. Go easy on yourself.
Keep trying to do your best, achieve your goals, or just survive better than you did yesterday, no matter month it is or what messaging you get from society. Hugs and love for a healthy, happy life.
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