Do you ever feel not good enough?

I work full-time and have three kids. We have a house and a yard. We have birthday parties, sports, and all of the other things that life has to offer. Somehow, we manage to get things done and arrive mostly on-time(ish), but there’s always that nagging feeling that no matter what I’m doing, it’s never good enough.

Perhaps it’s a result of the criticism I am getting from my “too big for her britches” daughter. I don’t pick out the right clothes, do her hair the way she wants it, and I never choose the right book to read for bedtime. But then again, she insisted on wearing a long sleeve dress and tights in 90 degrees the other day so let’s reality check the criticism.

I feel like it comes down to a few things:

1. We have A LOT on our plates. A full-time job is a lot of work. Kids are a lot of work. A newborn is a lot of work. Managing a household is a lot of work. Put it all together and moms, we are BUSY. There is no possible way to get it all done well.
2. Most of what we do goes unnoticed. Nobody notices when you clean up the spilt milk on the counter or pick up the clothes off the floor. I have never once been thanked for helping my kids brush their teeth; in fact, I more often hear “I can do it myself!” Yeah sure kid, waving your toothbrush in your mouth for 2 seconds counts, mmhmmm….
3. The emphasis is more often on what we forget to do. For example, you forget to put nipples on your baby’s milk bottles and everybody notices…. jeesh! (Yes, that happened… two days in a row. I don’t want to talk about it.)
4. Social media doesn’t help. We see small snippets of someone else’s seemingly perfect life, but rarely do we see all the work they put behind it or the fails. It skews our reality of what we should be doing because so-and-so does it.
5. Life moves quickly. If being on maternity leave has taught me anything, it’s that life moves on with or without you. Work will find someone else to do the projects. Your friends will travel and have fun without you. Your husband is fine taking the kids to McDonald’s for dinner any night. If you don’t get things done, you are removed from the equation. Sometimes life makes you feel irrelevant.
6. I am TIRED. Being tired makes it hard to focus, think, function. Being tired for 7 years… well, that’s justification for being TIRED in all-caps. At this point, unless you actually tell me “thank you” or “great job,” I probably think I didn’t do whatever it was done well enough.

But here’s what I’m coming to figure out– nobody cares. Nobody cares if you don’t give 100% to everything you do. Nobody cares if your house is messy. Nobody cares if you don’t exercise.

What do YOU care about? That’s what I want to know.

Your feelings of “not enough” keep you from proving to yourself that you are.”

Rachel Hollis “Girl Stop Apologizing”

What is important to you? Give those things your all. If you fail, at least you tried. If you do a great job, then you can feel good about it. Everything else, it’s FINE. You’re fine. The kids will be fine. Because again, nobody really cares if it’s done 100% or just done enough.

In fact, the kids are probably thrilled getting PB&J sandwiches every day in their lunch instead of turkey, hummus and veggie sandwiches that you so lovingly make.

Of course, I say this knowing full well I get into the trap of letting one misstep turn into something larger. But I’m working on it. And I hope you are too. Because moms, you are doing some pretty amazing things whether or not you realize it.

Sending love and hugs to all moms out there who are struggling to feel good enough <3 <3 <3