Getting Out of Survival Mode

When someone asks, “How are you?” the common response is “good” or “fine” right? But for years now, my first thought has been “surviving.”

To be clear, there’s nothing bad about my life so this isn’t meant to be a post where I complain to get attention. Mostly, I feel like perhaps someone else feels the same way.

I feel like I’m barely “keeping my head above water.” I’m swimming through all of the to-dos, reminders, tasks, parties, chores, emails, and planning that have become my normal. This is my mom life.

Does anyone else feel like this?

“Self-care” is the buzzword of the last year or two, right? That’s great – it’s important for your mental and physical health. BUT, how do you find time for your hobbies and self-care among work, house, kids, etc.?

And mom guilt is SO REAL. Even when I do find time, I feel guilty for prioritizing myself over time with my kids. I feel guilty when I’m not in survival mode.

These mental games are NOT easy! And anything that makes you think it is, is complete shite IMO.

For example, the other day, I took one kid off at a birthday party, while my husband watched the other two. It was a drop-off party. Whaaat? So, I went to Panera, ate dinner and read.

Sidenote: When We Believed in Mermaids by Barbara O’Neal is such a good book!

What I didn’t do: look at my phone, take a kid to the bathroom, clean up a spill, pick kid trash up off the floor, multi-task, share my food or remind anyone else to eat theirs.

What I did do: enjoyed peace and quiet, read, ate. For 1.5 hours. It was GLORIOUS!

This solo dinner inspired my 2023 goal: incorporate positivity and actions in my life every day that make me happy so I no longer feel like I’m living in survival mode.

How I plan to get out of survival mode:

• More reading/audiobooks
• Continue daily exercise
• See friends more
• Hug more
• Daily positive self-talk and mental conversations
• Regular Epsom salt baths
• My husband and I are taking turns planning a date night each month
• Do activities or visit places from a list we created as a family for 2023
• Say “no” more. No to activities I don’t want to do, to things that are not worth my time, to people who don’t value me and my time.
• Stop feeling guilty for taking care of myself
• Stop feeling guilty when I ask for help
• Stop feeling guilty when my husband is taking care of the kids, especially if the roles were reversed and he wouldn’t feel guilty
• Surround myself with like-minded people, leaving behind negativity and drama.

About two years ago, I started trying to focus on self-care, but I’m realizing that this is an evolving, lifelong process.

Even if I’m only slightly less stressed at the end of the year, I’m hoping 2023 will include more laughs, fun and help my heart to smile. I wish you the same; cheers!

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How do you find joy in your life? How do you stop feeling the mom guilt? What does self-care look like in your life? Please comment below, I’d love to hear your suggestions too.