How Do I Not Care About Everything?

This is a bit of an “is this just me?” post. And a request for some advice.

As a mom, I feel like I’m programmed to care. About everything.

Please tell me — how do I not care about everything?

How do I become one of those moms that see a request to volunteer for something at your kids’ school and not sign up? How do I not bring a meal to an acquaintance after they have a baby? How do I not donate money to help the hummingbirds, USO, World Wildlife Fund because “even 5 dollars makes a difference”?

How do I see a request for… anything… and not say “yes”?

So here’s the thing….

I want to make life easier for my kids.
I want to teach them how to be good friends, students and citizens.
I want to model for them how to care for themselves and others.
I want to leave the world a better place for them.

Since my first child was born, this urge to care for my family has continued to grow. But now I find myself caring TOO MUCH. I don’t know how to stop.

I love the thought that every little bit counts. Every random act of kindness can grow to have a significant impact.

• I put together holiday gifts for the Salvation Army Angel Tree.
• I put snacks out for my delivery guys and gals.
• I donate a backpack with supplies for a local underprivileged student’s back to school.
• I give gifts to my kids’ teachers to make sure they know how awesome and appreciated they are.
• I donate my kids’ gently worn clothes to the local food pantry or gift them to a friend who has kids the right size.
• I donate some dog toys and beds to the local shelter every year in memory of my dog.
• I change water every other day in my hummingbird feeder to make up for my lack of landscaping and you know, to help save the hummingbirds.
• I buy a household item or two off an amazon list to help a local mom in my FB group who just had to leave her house with her children to escape a domestic violence situation.
• I compost.

Every reasonable opportunity I have to help someone, I try to take it.  But in recent years, more significantly, I feel the weight of the accumulation of all this extra and what I can’t help.

It never feels like enough.

And yet, I continue to care.

Not about just the little things. The big things going on in the world bring extra weight with them, mostly because I can’t do anything about these. These really weigh on my heart.

• I care about the Afghan refugees who came to the U.S. with nothing and still many have nothing.
• I care about the kids who’ve been virtual schooling for so long that they’ve fallen behind. 
• I care about the Ukranians who are fleeing their home with very little, including many of their fathers/spouses.
• I care about the children and families who continue to be impacted by the reoccurring shootings that continue to happen in the U.S.
• I care about the mental health of moms who are drowning in stress, responsibilities, work, homelife, and society’s expectations and feel exhausted and alone.
• And so much more!

Pretty much any time I see a news article, social media awareness post and community email, I become aware of something else heartbreaking and someone who needs help and attention.

The problem is that I care so much that I ache to help and make a difference. And, I know there is next to nothing I can do for any of them.

Donate money. Call a senator. That’s usually it.

I have zero extra time to give to anyone beyond my nuclear family; at least I know that much.

There is no large-scale impact that I will ever make on the larger issues. We are all at the mercy of the few who make decisions for the greater population.

My donations, my vote – it’s miniscule compared to the big picture.

So then I come back to what I CAN do. What I AM doing.

I try to remember for that child, adult or animal, my small act might make a difference in their day. So I know it’s worth it. 

I know I need to focus on what I can control. Who I can help. Make sure that my kids are good to themselves and the world too.

And then I come back to overcommitting myself to do what I can to put good out into the world. And the cycle repeats.

So I ask again, if you’re someone that’s able to say “no” to every volunteer opportunity, how do you do it? How do you not care about everything?

I’d rather care too much than not enough, but I’d also like to save my sanity a bit too.

If you have any advice, please comment below. Thank you!